Created by pointlesspark 32 weeks ago: "Love, brought to you by the masses. You've brought, Love, With cool singeing hope, the destiny of Man. but you eat that sweet peach like you watch the sun
. And up I leapt, quickly, to go grab my scalpel and the Cheddar under my bed that starts to reek, Because its fast and deficient and not too dear, As it's been there for well over a week, even though the best orifice for such is in your heart. Wonderingly, I twirled, Dancing the Boogy, 'neath the big Disco Ball. Of course I, Wonderingly, fell till life came wire. sail away, you fiction, excuse the missed doves by an ineffable, her, that sounds right! not Even handled tide is the life we want to live. Are you a poet? No! Because gods have no pity on those borne when history began! eat that peach like you watch the sun, And maybe then become how you must be. (But I will always feel the right to chicken done right). realms become found down wind of the man in the moon, And elude the hippopotami ... my heart grows, Cubed or crushed...."
]]>Created by pointlesspark 32 weeks ago: "Love, brought to you by the masses. You've brought, Love, With cool singeing hope, the destiny of Man. but you eat that sweet peach like you watch the sun
. And up I leapt, quickly, to go grab my scalpel and the Cheddar under my bed that starts to reek, Because its fast and deficient and not too dear, As it's been there for well over a week, even though the best orifice for such is in your heart. Wonderingly, I twirled, Dancing the Boogy, 'neath the big Disco Ball. Of course I, Wonderingly, fell till life came wire. sail away, you fiction, excuse the missed doves by an ineffable, her, that sounds right! not Even handled tide is the life we want to live. Are you a poet? No! Because gods have no pity on those borne when history began! eat that peach like you watch the sun, And maybe then become how you must be. (But I will always feel the right to chicken done right). realms become found down wind of the man in the moon, And elude the hippopotami ... my heart grows, Cubed or crushed...."
]]>
Created by julian 50 weeks ago: "This is a short story I wrote for my 9th grade Language Arts (English) class.
Welcome to my imagination:
-White-
The boy looked around. Everything was creamy white, puffy, and bright. Where was he? He got up, and was met by an odd sensation. The ground was firm enough, but oddly smoky, and malleable. He took stock of his surroundings again. All around him looked normal enough; and if it weren't white, it would almost be the country. He could see hills, plains, and ravines. What was this?
The boy bent down and touched the ground. An imprint of his hand stayed for ten-twenty seconds. He pushed in again, harder. The hand sank deeper and deeper until he was up to his elbow in white. The child yanked his arm out and watched as the ground shifted back to fill in the hole.
'How strange.'
The boy shifted his weight, and sat, watching the horizon. It's moving! The boy stood and ran to the top of a rise for a better view. It was hard to get used to moving around on the..."
]]>Created by julian 50 weeks ago: "This is a short story I wrote for my 9th grade Language Arts (English) class.
Welcome to my imagination:
-White-
The boy looked around. Everything was creamy white, puffy, and bright. Where was he? He got up, and was met by an odd sensation. The ground was firm enough, but oddly smoky, and malleable. He took stock of his surroundings again. All around him looked normal enough; and if it weren't white, it would almost be the country. He could see hills, plains, and ravines. What was this?
The boy bent down and touched the ground. An imprint of his hand stayed for ten-twenty seconds. He pushed in again, harder. The hand sank deeper and deeper until he was up to his elbow in white. The child yanked his arm out and watched as the ground shifted back to fill in the hole.
'How strange.'
The boy shifted his weight, and sat, watching the horizon. It's moving! The boy stood and ran to the top of a rise for a better view. It was hard to get used to moving around on the..."
]]>
Created by reamsjp 50 weeks ago: "A short poem that came to me during work.
Every day I rise but I fail to wake up
Every day I wake up but I fail to observe
Every day I observe but I fail to notice
Every day I notice that I fail to wake..."
]]>Created by reamsjp 50 weeks ago: "A short poem that came to me during work.
Every day I rise but I fail to wake up
Every day I wake up but I fail to observe
Every day I observe but I fail to notice
Every day I notice that I fail to wake..."
]]>
Created by jlcoke 1 year ago: "I was riding the monorail back to my hotel in Las Vegas, drunk on "free" booze after losing my money playing blackjack all night, when I looked up and saw that the person sitting across the aisle from me was wearing a sticker that proudly announced, "I lost 74 pounds, ask me how!" The number was crudely scrawled in felt pen with the unmistakable handwriting of a junkie strung out on a bacon high and looked out of place amongst the neatly printed block letters that framed it. Even more out of place was the sticker itself when you consider that a man erupting sweat from every greasy pore and teetering on the brink of morbid obesity was wearing it. His suit was much too small and his shirt buttons looked like they were ready to explode from the pressure of his belly against the sweat-stained polyester. The area between the buttons was stretched apart, allowing his stomach to peer out of its synthetic fabric prison and come out for air in two-inch increments, the whole ensemble roughly..."
]]>Created by jlcoke 1 year ago: "I was riding the monorail back to my hotel in Las Vegas, drunk on "free" booze after losing my money playing blackjack all night, when I looked up and saw that the person sitting across the aisle from me was wearing a sticker that proudly announced, "I lost 74 pounds, ask me how!" The number was crudely scrawled in felt pen with the unmistakable handwriting of a junkie strung out on a bacon high and looked out of place amongst the neatly printed block letters that framed it. Even more out of place was the sticker itself when you consider that a man erupting sweat from every greasy pore and teetering on the brink of morbid obesity was wearing it. His suit was much too small and his shirt buttons looked like they were ready to explode from the pressure of his belly against the sweat-stained polyester. The area between the buttons was stretched apart, allowing his stomach to peer out of its synthetic fabric prison and come out for air in two-inch increments, the whole ensemble roughly..."
]]>
Created by jesse 1 year ago: "Once upon a time there was a purple fox. Every day he would stalk around the most distant borders of the land. The other foxes rejected him and his odd..."
]]>Created by jesse 1 year ago: "Once upon a time there was a purple fox. Every day he would stalk around the most distant borders of the land. The other foxes rejected him and his odd..."
]]>
Created by aiouande 1 year ago: "A penguin, a polar bear and an artic fox were tussling about on a cold bitter day. The penguin was fishing, but not in the traditional manner that penguins do, he was using a trick he had learned from the ermine that lived around the corner. The penguin was using a slender road with a line attached, and a small bit of something flashy he had picked up from the side of the road. If he twitched the rod just right, it would cause the string to jump a bit, sending a flash from the shiny piece through the water that would attract fish, which would bite the line, and then provide him with a tasty morsel he could enjoy. He would just have to keep his hard won prize from the polar bears eyes. While the penguin fished, the polar bear chased the ermine, who had been fishing with the penguin, until he caught one, and subsequently began running from the polar bear who had decided the fish caught by the ermine was rightfully his. The artic fox, sly as could be, was waiting for the polar bear..."
]]>Created by aiouande 1 year ago: "A penguin, a polar bear and an artic fox were tussling about on a cold bitter day. The penguin was fishing, but not in the traditional manner that penguins do, he was using a trick he had learned from the ermine that lived around the corner. The penguin was using a slender road with a line attached, and a small bit of something flashy he had picked up from the side of the road. If he twitched the rod just right, it would cause the string to jump a bit, sending a flash from the shiny piece through the water that would attract fish, which would bite the line, and then provide him with a tasty morsel he could enjoy. He would just have to keep his hard won prize from the polar bears eyes. While the penguin fished, the polar bear chased the ermine, who had been fishing with the penguin, until he caught one, and subsequently began running from the polar bear who had decided the fish caught by the ermine was rightfully his. The artic fox, sly as could be, was waiting for the polar bear..."
]]>
Created by pointlesspark 1 year ago: "I won some writing thing with it last year so I just wanted to see what other people thought about it. It's just some fiction story i wrote so... uh... here it goes.
--Hell is Heaven--
A loud shriek echoed and a heavy artillery shell thundered onto the desolate cemetery. The earth shook as if rocked by a slow and steady hand. The scene, however dead it may be, seemed alive with every crash, explosion, and even the slightest movement. Even the most intelligent and mentally sound soldier would have gone mad at the sight of the wicked dance. A dance that seemed to go on forever in an endless daze. Maybe this was Hell. Maybe the corpses of the fallen soldiers werent trying to break free of their earthen imprisonment but were trying to escape this hellish world. A world we call home.
Zechial rolled from his bed coughing and vomiting blood. He never thought he could have imagined a sight as chaotic as that. Tears were rolling down the side of his face. This was..."
]]>Created by pointlesspark 1 year ago: "I won some writing thing with it last year so I just wanted to see what other people thought about it. It's just some fiction story i wrote so... uh... here it goes.
--Hell is Heaven--
A loud shriek echoed and a heavy artillery shell thundered onto the desolate cemetery. The earth shook as if rocked by a slow and steady hand. The scene, however dead it may be, seemed alive with every crash, explosion, and even the slightest movement. Even the most intelligent and mentally sound soldier would have gone mad at the sight of the wicked dance. A dance that seemed to go on forever in an endless daze. Maybe this was Hell. Maybe the corpses of the fallen soldiers werent trying to break free of their earthen imprisonment but were trying to escape this hellish world. A world we call home.
Zechial rolled from his bed coughing and vomiting blood. He never thought he could have imagined a sight as chaotic as that. Tears were rolling down the side of his face. This was..."
]]>
Created by amateurvisionary 2 years ago: "i wrote this a few years ago. i thought it was pretty good. anyway, without further ado:
___'s Guide To Life (name withheld...for no real reason. but rest assured that it was my name and my writing.)
90% of what people tell you is crap.
Remember your roots. Just like a tree, you will fall without them.
Money wont solve all your problems. It will solve about 9 out of 10 though.
Your mind is your most valuable possession. Without it you are nothing. With it, you are only nothing if you chose to be.
Always buy used.
Always get enough sleep.
Love is an important human need. Never take it for granted, but dont make too much of it either.
Dont make a habit of making promises. They work just like checks. If you make a bad one, it will come back to haunt you.
Plan for tomorrow, live for today.
Remember that sunlight is essential to the production of many chemicals in your body.
Gas prices change quickly.
Trust is a gift handed out too..."
]]>Created by amateurvisionary 2 years ago: "i wrote this a few years ago. i thought it was pretty good. anyway, without further ado:
___'s Guide To Life (name withheld...for no real reason. but rest assured that it was my name and my writing.)
90% of what people tell you is crap.
Remember your roots. Just like a tree, you will fall without them.
Money wont solve all your problems. It will solve about 9 out of 10 though.
Your mind is your most valuable possession. Without it you are nothing. With it, you are only nothing if you chose to be.
Always buy used.
Always get enough sleep.
Love is an important human need. Never take it for granted, but dont make too much of it either.
Dont make a habit of making promises. They work just like checks. If you make a bad one, it will come back to haunt you.
Plan for tomorrow, live for today.
Remember that sunlight is essential to the production of many chemicals in your body.
Gas prices change quickly.
Trust is a gift handed out too..."
]]>
Created by amateurvisionary 2 years ago: "The Elegant Life of Me
and other people you've never heard of
Late 2000
My cigarette is almost burned out now. The lake is still today. A light wind stumbles across the grass in front of me and Im trying to fix my life. Its not a bad life to begin with. Its just not the right one. I scraped through high school and now stand as a 2 time college failure. Not so much failing as quitting, I suppose. But the result stands and here I stand. Or sit rather, now in an uncrowded coffee house talking with a friend trying to piece together the next step of this man. Or boy or thing. Whatever you might call a 19-year-old male on the verge of extinction. Ive decided, I think, to leave. After years of consideration Ive reached the apogee of my listless existence here and shall henceforth be gone. I hope. Im waiting on a response from one of the job applications I have submitted. I have applied to several ski resorts to become a ski instructor. I know, a Mississippi..."
]]>Created by amateurvisionary 2 years ago: "The Elegant Life of Me
and other people you've never heard of
Late 2000
My cigarette is almost burned out now. The lake is still today. A light wind stumbles across the grass in front of me and Im trying to fix my life. Its not a bad life to begin with. Its just not the right one. I scraped through high school and now stand as a 2 time college failure. Not so much failing as quitting, I suppose. But the result stands and here I stand. Or sit rather, now in an uncrowded coffee house talking with a friend trying to piece together the next step of this man. Or boy or thing. Whatever you might call a 19-year-old male on the verge of extinction. Ive decided, I think, to leave. After years of consideration Ive reached the apogee of my listless existence here and shall henceforth be gone. I hope. Im waiting on a response from one of the job applications I have submitted. I have applied to several ski resorts to become a ski instructor. I know, a Mississippi..."
]]>
Created by zagrophyte 2 years ago: "
Cen was a Censor Sensor Senser--that is, he sensed sensors that sensed Censors. The central powers shelled out shillings for Cen, who sensed the sensors and disassembled them silently. The townspeople were incensed at this senseless abuse of privacy, for surely everyone should be able to sense censors, it's constitutional!
"Censure Cen!" cited the citizens.
"Save me!" Cen screamed.
"Save yourself, sir!" spoke a surly citizen.
"Perhaps I'll shoot myself," Cen sighed, "the life of a Censor Sensor Senser is a sad life, indeed. At least the central government gives me satchels of shillings."
A stone slammed into Cen's chest.
"Say, that smarts! Stop this incessant harassment!" Cen hissed.
"We shall not stop, unless you signal your surrender! Censure Cen!"
"Censure Cen!" The citizens shouted in unison.
"I shall not surrender, my specialty sustains my starving household! I support seven children!" Cen protested.
"Save us your speech, you slime! We share no sympathy for..."
]]>Created by zagrophyte 2 years ago: "
Cen was a Censor Sensor Senser--that is, he sensed sensors that sensed Censors. The central powers shelled out shillings for Cen, who sensed the sensors and disassembled them silently. The townspeople were incensed at this senseless abuse of privacy, for surely everyone should be able to sense censors, it's constitutional!
"Censure Cen!" cited the citizens.
"Save me!" Cen screamed.
"Save yourself, sir!" spoke a surly citizen.
"Perhaps I'll shoot myself," Cen sighed, "the life of a Censor Sensor Senser is a sad life, indeed. At least the central government gives me satchels of shillings."
A stone slammed into Cen's chest.
"Say, that smarts! Stop this incessant harassment!" Cen hissed.
"We shall not stop, unless you signal your surrender! Censure Cen!"
"Censure Cen!" The citizens shouted in unison.
"I shall not surrender, my specialty sustains my starving household! I support seven children!" Cen protested.
"Save us your speech, you slime! We share no sympathy for..."
]]>
Created by underdog 2 years ago: "Fark.com is an excellent source of amateur punditry, so for my website, The Fark Interviews, I interviewed a select few to make a web page, it is an interesting snapshot in time. Be assured the content is not sponsored by some corporations vested interest!
Link:..."
]]>Created by underdog 2 years ago: "Fark.com is an excellent source of amateur punditry, so for my website, The Fark Interviews, I interviewed a select few to make a web page, it is an interesting snapshot in time. Be assured the content is not sponsored by some corporations vested interest!
Link:..."
]]>
Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "Like most mothers, mine had a somewhat inflexible opinion of how children should be raised. At key points in a child's life, new experiences and skills should be introduced in order for them to reach their maximum potential. Strict adherence to her plan for childrearing would virtually guarantee that her children would surpass their peers at all levels and eventually come to be regarded by history as humanity's greatest treasures. Like most plans that lead to a lofted place in history and the flawless shaping of a young mind, hers had a few minor kinks.
My mother would often announce to my brother and me that we would be starting a new hobby or learning a skill that she deemed vital for success. Some of these were quite useful, and I'm forever grateful for the day when I learned why you aren't supposed to stick forks in the light socket. Others were less helpful, like the week we learned to walk down the stairs with books balanced on our heads; a skill most young boys don't..."
]]>Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "Like most mothers, mine had a somewhat inflexible opinion of how children should be raised. At key points in a child's life, new experiences and skills should be introduced in order for them to reach their maximum potential. Strict adherence to her plan for childrearing would virtually guarantee that her children would surpass their peers at all levels and eventually come to be regarded by history as humanity's greatest treasures. Like most plans that lead to a lofted place in history and the flawless shaping of a young mind, hers had a few minor kinks.
My mother would often announce to my brother and me that we would be starting a new hobby or learning a skill that she deemed vital for success. Some of these were quite useful, and I'm forever grateful for the day when I learned why you aren't supposed to stick forks in the light socket. Others were less helpful, like the week we learned to walk down the stairs with books balanced on our heads; a skill most young boys don't..."
]]>
Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "I'm a can-do, take-charge, go-getter who doesn't have time for bullshit. I like my coffee black, my cars fast, and my music loud. I'm climbing the corporate ladder, kicking ass and taking names. With this kind of fast-paced, conquer-the-world kind of lifestyle, is it any wonder that the Gillette Fusion is the razor that defines me as a person?
A man like me can't afford to be seen guiding some puny little single-bladed piece of crap Bic across his face each morning. Bic makes pens, and what's more they make pens for losers. Have you ever seen the president sign a bill with one of those things? I rest my case. You know who buys shitty plastic razors 24 to a pack? The unwashed masses, that's who, and I'll be damned if I'm one of those suckers.
No, my razor has five, count 'em, FIVE blades. Lubricating comfort strips, a textured aluminum handle, and most important of all, only one to a pack. That's right, I stand alone. Like the display at the end of the isle, I'm proud to be..."
]]>Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "I'm a can-do, take-charge, go-getter who doesn't have time for bullshit. I like my coffee black, my cars fast, and my music loud. I'm climbing the corporate ladder, kicking ass and taking names. With this kind of fast-paced, conquer-the-world kind of lifestyle, is it any wonder that the Gillette Fusion is the razor that defines me as a person?
A man like me can't afford to be seen guiding some puny little single-bladed piece of crap Bic across his face each morning. Bic makes pens, and what's more they make pens for losers. Have you ever seen the president sign a bill with one of those things? I rest my case. You know who buys shitty plastic razors 24 to a pack? The unwashed masses, that's who, and I'll be damned if I'm one of those suckers.
No, my razor has five, count 'em, FIVE blades. Lubricating comfort strips, a textured aluminum handle, and most important of all, only one to a pack. That's right, I stand alone. Like the display at the end of the isle, I'm proud to be..."
]]>
Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "The student-run newspaper at my college featured an open letter from a student to the top tax bracket chastising them for not investing in education. "Dear Top Tax Bracket" rebuked the habits of the rich and their predatory lending to the poor, so I decided to respond as if I were one of the wealthy elite, which I most assuredly am not. What follows is the original letter, and my response appears below.
Dear top tax bracket,
The other day I was reading the newspaper while I enjoyed my Top Ramen noodles, and I saw that you are retaining an average of $500,000 a year because of President Bush's investment tax cuts.
I also read a story about the new budget law that affects federal loans for college students. Interest rates will increase and students will no longer be able to consolidate loans while in college. The maximum Pell Grant, awarded to the lowest income students, will not increase for the fifth year in a row. Meanwhile, average public college tuition has increased 40..."
]]>Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "The student-run newspaper at my college featured an open letter from a student to the top tax bracket chastising them for not investing in education. "Dear Top Tax Bracket" rebuked the habits of the rich and their predatory lending to the poor, so I decided to respond as if I were one of the wealthy elite, which I most assuredly am not. What follows is the original letter, and my response appears below.
Dear top tax bracket,
The other day I was reading the newspaper while I enjoyed my Top Ramen noodles, and I saw that you are retaining an average of $500,000 a year because of President Bush's investment tax cuts.
I also read a story about the new budget law that affects federal loans for college students. Interest rates will increase and students will no longer be able to consolidate loans while in college. The maximum Pell Grant, awarded to the lowest income students, will not increase for the fifth year in a row. Meanwhile, average public college tuition has increased 40..."
]]>
Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "It isn't often that we're given the opportunity to sit back and reflect deeply on our lives; our achievements and talents, our follies and our faults. New years is one such occasion, and millions of well-intentioned folks the world over resolve each January to better themselves in one way or another. Upstanding Christians like myself, however, are blessed with another opportunity, Lent, to give up those habits we've accumulated over the years that take away from our service to God. Some people fast and others quit smoking, but not me. No, this year I'm giving up Jesus for Lent.
Like everything I do for the good Lord himself, I plan to throw myself completely into this project. No half-assing it, no screwing around and just giving up a little Jesus, I'm going all the way and kicking his ass to the curb. For forty days, I'll serve the Lord by being the best damned godless heathen I can be!
This isn't going to be some walk in the park like one of those pussy sacrifices either...."
]]>Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "It isn't often that we're given the opportunity to sit back and reflect deeply on our lives; our achievements and talents, our follies and our faults. New years is one such occasion, and millions of well-intentioned folks the world over resolve each January to better themselves in one way or another. Upstanding Christians like myself, however, are blessed with another opportunity, Lent, to give up those habits we've accumulated over the years that take away from our service to God. Some people fast and others quit smoking, but not me. No, this year I'm giving up Jesus for Lent.
Like everything I do for the good Lord himself, I plan to throw myself completely into this project. No half-assing it, no screwing around and just giving up a little Jesus, I'm going all the way and kicking his ass to the curb. For forty days, I'll serve the Lord by being the best damned godless heathen I can be!
This isn't going to be some walk in the park like one of those pussy sacrifices either...."
]]>
Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "What a torrid relationship we have had. We've known each other for what, 7, maybe 8 years now? There have been highs and there have been lows. There were times when you gently took the card from my hands, my fingers danced on your stainless steel keypad, and from your dispensing slot came crisp, neatly stacked twenties. How many times have I grabbed my money in excitement and walked away, only to hear you beeping behind me, as if whispering in your sweet robotic voice, "Don't forget your card, Josh." Sometimes I wonder if you might be my guardian angel.
I sometimes think of you as a great sage, dispensing not merely currency, but also divine wisdom if one knows how to ask. If I know just what buttons to push, and I like to think that after so many years together I do, you tell me my balance, be it checking or savings. You know so much about me, and I so little about you. What are you hiding from me beneath your fortified metal exterior? I'd love to find out, if only you'd let me...."
]]>Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "What a torrid relationship we have had. We've known each other for what, 7, maybe 8 years now? There have been highs and there have been lows. There were times when you gently took the card from my hands, my fingers danced on your stainless steel keypad, and from your dispensing slot came crisp, neatly stacked twenties. How many times have I grabbed my money in excitement and walked away, only to hear you beeping behind me, as if whispering in your sweet robotic voice, "Don't forget your card, Josh." Sometimes I wonder if you might be my guardian angel.
I sometimes think of you as a great sage, dispensing not merely currency, but also divine wisdom if one knows how to ask. If I know just what buttons to push, and I like to think that after so many years together I do, you tell me my balance, be it checking or savings. You know so much about me, and I so little about you. What are you hiding from me beneath your fortified metal exterior? I'd love to find out, if only you'd let me...."
]]>
Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "You're better than this. Rather, at one point I thought you were. I remember taking you home from the store, wrapped tightly in your shiny packaging. "This is going to be a long and prosperous relationship," I remember thinking to myself as I glanced over at you in the passenger seat on the drive home. For weeks I couldn't help but smile each time I passed you sitting proudly atop my kitchen counter. Nestled between the microwave and the cookbooks, you had the world by the tail. You had everything, and you've gone and ruined it.
When you first came into my life you could toast a bagel to perfection. The face was always an even golden brown, not too crispy and not too soft. Just perfect. Remember that time we made eggs benedict together? I cooked the eggs, and you toasted the English muffins. God, we were such a perfect team. I was so proud of you. I loved you.
But that's all gone now. You don't toast evenly anymore. You're not even consistent. Sometimes you burn, sometimes you..."
]]>Created by jlcoke 2 years ago: "You're better than this. Rather, at one point I thought you were. I remember taking you home from the store, wrapped tightly in your shiny packaging. "This is going to be a long and prosperous relationship," I remember thinking to myself as I glanced over at you in the passenger seat on the drive home. For weeks I couldn't help but smile each time I passed you sitting proudly atop my kitchen counter. Nestled between the microwave and the cookbooks, you had the world by the tail. You had everything, and you've gone and ruined it.
When you first came into my life you could toast a bagel to perfection. The face was always an even golden brown, not too crispy and not too soft. Just perfect. Remember that time we made eggs benedict together? I cooked the eggs, and you toasted the English muffins. God, we were such a perfect team. I was so proud of you. I loved you.
But that's all gone now. You don't toast evenly anymore. You're not even consistent. Sometimes you burn, sometimes you..."
]]>